LEADING WITH LOVE
“There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love
turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror!”
1 John 4:18 AMP
I was sitting in the beauty of the castle at Glenn Eyrie in Colorado listening to Jamie Winship speak to a group of educators. Before arriving there that summer, God had already been working on my heart about what it means to lead with love. The phrase had been stirring in me for some time, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what God was showing me. As I listened to Jamie speak, I found myself hanging on every word because what he was saying connected so clearly with what God had already been stirring in my heart. Then he said something that would change my life. “We should be agents of removing fear from every room we are in.”
Suddenly, it all came together. That was what God had been showing me about leading with love. 1 John 4:18 tells us that perfect love casts out fear. That is the goal. When we allow the love of Jesus to enter the room with us, fear no longer has to lead. This doesn’t happen because we have discovered the right leadership technique. It also doesn’t mean we avoid hard conversations or difficult circumstances. Leading with love means learning to live so connected to Jesus that His love can flow through us, even when the situation in front of us is uncomfortable, complicated, or painful. Fear no longer dominates the situation.
Think about the rooms we enter as educators. Some are filled with excitement and anticipation while others carry frustration, conflict, disappointment, or uncertainty. We may find ourselves talking with a student who has made a serious mistake, sitting across from a parent who is upset, addressing a difficult situation with a colleague, or helping someone navigate circumstances that are far beyond what we expected to encounter in a school day. We cannot always change what is happening in the room, but we can invite Jesus to change the way we enter it. We can lead with love.
I recently experienced this in a situation involving a boy who had made a mistake. He brought something to school he should not have had. As I sat with him, I listened for God’s leading, and I felt Him directing me toward compassion rather than shame, truth rather than humiliation, and gentleness rather than harshness. As our conversation came to an end, God reminded me to tell him that I loved him just as much in that moment as I had the day before and would the day after.
The situation was serious, and there were consequences that needed to be addressed. At the same time, his mistake did not change his worth or the fact that he was loved. Later, his mom walked into my office knowing that her child had messed up. Police were waiting. Before bringing everyone together, though, I felt God prompting me to sit with her alone.
I told her what I knew to be true. We love your son, and we love you. We are going to work together to help him learn from this and move forward. I hugged her and told her that whatever the journey looked like from that point forward, we were going to walk it with her. Nothing about the situation changed our love for either of them. Then we entered the room together.
I shared with the others what I had already shared with Mom. As the conversation continued, I could feel the tension leave the room. Peace seemed to settle over the situation, and fear was no longer in the lead. The circumstances had not changed. Accountability still mattered. What had changed was the atmosphere in which those things were being addressed. Love was leading.
This is the invitation for all of us who serve children and young people. Leading with love will look different from one situation to the next. Sometimes love will mean speaking a difficult truth. Sometimes it will mean correcting behavior without shaming the child. Sometimes it will mean listening before responding, offering compassion when someone expects judgment, or reminding students that poor choices do not change the fact that they are valued and loved. No matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, our role is to allow the love of Jesus to lead through us.
When we listen and respond, we become agents of removing fear. Then we get to watch God work. Our job is to follow, and His job is to bring the transformation. We are not responsible for changing hearts. We are responsible for being available to the One who can. When we remain connected to Jesus, His presence begins to shape the way we respond, and the fruit of that connection becomes evident in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (John 15: 5-8; Galatians 5:22-23). The fruit of the Spirit is not something we manufacture through our own effort. It is what grows when we remain connected to Him.
As you think about the people and situations you encounter in your position, consider what might already be present. Is there fear, frustration, disappointment, shame, anxiety, or conflict? Ask the Lord to open your eyes to what He wants you to see. Then ask Him, What do You want me to know so that Your love can lead through me?
A Prayer
Jesus, make me an agent of removing fear. Help me stay so connected to You that Your Living Water flows through me into every room I enter. Let me see people as You see them, hear Your voice, and trust You enough to obey.
When I need to speak truth, let love lead. When I need to correct, let love lead. When I need to hold someone while they heal, let love lead. When circumstances are difficult, let love lead.
Remind me that I do not have to manufacture the fruit. I simply need to remain connected to You and allow Your life to flow through mine. Let Your perfect love cast out fear. Let Your love flow through me. Let me lead with You.
Amen.
Christal Hollinger began her career in education in 1999. She has been a teacher, instructional specialist, assistant principal, and principal. She is currently the elementary principal at Tolar Elementary in Tolar, Texas. Christal also leads the Texas chapter of ACA (Association of Christian Administrators) and is active in Christian Educators by supporting and facilitating AWAKE conferences.
Christal can be reached at leadwithlovechristal@gmail.com.
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If this message encouraged you, you'll find even more practical ways to reflect Christ in your school throughout our book, Taking Jesus to School: The Fruit of the Spirit on Display. Together we explore how love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control can transform the way we teach, lead, and serve every day. Learn more here: https://www.victoriouseducator.com/taking-jesus-to-school
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